


Live Wire

by herbailiwick



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Lucifer's Cage, Mild Gore, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herbailiwick/pseuds/herbailiwick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liron_aria prompted: "Sam POV on Adam in the Cage."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live Wire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liron_aria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liron_aria/gifts).



Everything is white hot, like the glint of light off a gun, like vampire fangs flashing in the Impala's headlights, and there's this white noise like a million different air-conditioning units but none that were ever mine to own and then, sometimes, it's darkness, utter darkness, like a big old nothing, silence like Dean never gave me, like never feels right, an absence like the moment before a ghost reappears.

And then, there's him. He was 19, but now he's not, and I'm not how I was, I'm not anything like the me I was yet the shell of me is, the basics of me are there like a framework, a glass container shattering, a wire skeleton crumpling, becoming whole, shattering and crumpling again, and the other part of me is full up of Lucifer, is broken and re-formed like a hand set wrong because trust me I know, and he's there and he's tiny he's a child and I knew him for less than 24 hours on earth, do you understand that? Less than 24 hours and he weeps the way dad used to when he came back from scary hunts, and he's sweet I think he's sweet even as a breaking vessel, as a skeleton made of folding, shaking wire

We've vomited together, we've cried together, in pain, knowing black and red and yellow pieces of each other's insides, pink and beige pieces, being forced to see, to touch, once or twice to taste it was the twisting of your gut times a thousand I love my little brother

Everything roils in there, everything spoils, the ice in the air and the fire competing and every piece of us roasting up and melting off we're only human 

I've seen things that make me more than human and he has too and he's perfect I'm telling you that he's perfect he's in agony for crimes he never committed he's the ultimate in innocence he's pure heat, a pilot light you can't touch, he's the dawn in a glass tumbler he's the essence of teenage ambition smashed but still living, he's the breath of youth and I know his pain because it's actually my own and I treat it like penance like it's meant for me because I earned it but he treats it like he knows where he ends and they begin and I love him.

When they let me hold him I do because I'm responsible. We're numb and spiked through with lances of hate we're the vicious remains of flesh we heal we don't we bruise they fade with a touch or they stay the ebbs and flows don't matter they flow and ebb we cry out we reek of innocence but his is pure 

There are quiet moments we never trust anymore there are oases and we've sometimes giggled with the heady absence and we've trusted nothing but the view is nice we take breaths when the air of the Cage goes in the right way and our lungs have no holes we are the free winners of a vacation sweepstakes we never entered we're unstoppable in a land without stop signs and we talk we say everything and nothing we write stories we pretend and we admit there's no point and we survive 

The angels find it fascinating

I love Adam, in a loveless Cage I love him, he's a focal point and he's wide-eyed and stubborn like he should be, he's never going to break and I was already broken and there's a piece of us that isn't frame or glass it's expansive and unruly with an indescribable polygonal form the angels don't understand

Is it a soul?

Sometimes, literally we're somewhere else, semi-literally, our stories coming to life, but Lucifer breaks it, Michael breaks it, they're petty, they're friends again, brothers to the end

Adam is my brother and I love him 

I hope I don't leave him, not for good

I love Dean and the idea of a shared Heaven, but that's not viable. 

If someone let me choose, I would turn Heaven down if my little brother couldn't come, I would want my soul to stay with him forever

If you saw him, you would understand. He's beautiful.


End file.
